


And The Rat Man Makes Three

by CardinalCopia



Category: Ghost (Swedish Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Established Relationship, Other, Slice of Life, pointless fic, two idiots get drunk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-12
Updated: 2018-05-12
Packaged: 2019-05-05 16:54:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,336
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14623059
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CardinalCopia/pseuds/CardinalCopia
Summary: And it's my job to convert people to this OT3 for it is a mighty fine OT3





	And The Rat Man Makes Three

**Author's Note:**

> And it's my job to convert people to this OT3 for it is a mighty fine OT3

Copia's first show went decently. Decently enough that is but not good. Not well. Certainly. This was bothersome to the cardinal to the level that he found himself sitting at the bar, downing hard liquor like water. He was too scared to report back to the clergy, erm... sister imperator. Tell them he slipped up on the lyrics of one of the most popular songs.

He was so distraught over this he was contemplating taking his rats and running away for good somewhere where they wouldn't think to look... maybe Europe, the Baltic countries. That sounded nice. Some village somewhere had to be rat friendly.

Copia flinched as he felt somebody rest their hand on his left shoulder.

"Hey, rat boy. Heard about your show tonight--"

"Don't remind me of it, Emeritus!" Copia turned to face the other right that instance and buried his face into the others dress shirt. III grimaced at the sudden contact but soon softened his facial expression.

"Oh... it wasn't that bad, I bet."

"It was, it was! I'm done for! Imperator is going to have my head on a platter!" He called out, overdramatizing it as he glanced up at the man before him with kicked puppy eyes. They were hard to ignore. III raised his hand to the others head from where it rested on the ratty man's shoulder and ruffled his already messy hair. It was disastrous when your disastrous tiny boyfriend was this unfairly cute.

"If it makes you feel better, I can sit and drink with you."

A beat there.

"Please do."

* * *

 

Hanging around the pay phone at an ungodly hour, which was the normal setting for members of this specific clergy, we had two very... very drunk men trying to throw their change in and dial a number with lots of difficulty.

Eventually, however, somebody picked up after a long while of beeping.

"Who is this!?" A disgruntled Italian accent leaked through the phone, seemingly irritated by the mere thought somebody would be interrupting him during whatever he was doing (this man wouldn't share).

"Frate!!" III called into the phone, overjoyed and obviously not even remotely sober. "You see, me and Copia--"

"...Where the fuck are you two?" He eldest cut in, obviously fighting back a sigh.

Within half an hour, both Copia and II's baby brother were neatly sat and buckled up in the black Lincoln. Both excited. Once II got into the driver’s side, the long sigh he was holding escaped him as he felt the other two grinning at him.

"Let's not do this..." He muttered and started the car. He didn't even drive for a full two minutes before III, who sat shotgun, started fiddling with the radio. The elder Emeritus frowned. But ultimately didn't do anything.

The younger settled on a station that played nothing of good substance, accordingly to II.

A song came on, 80s in its core. Copia began to clumsily sing along and both of the former Papas looked at him through the rearview mirror. One displeased and one giggling.

Soon enough, III joined in, as both of them practically yelled over the sloppy lyrics torturing the poor, poor man that had the misfortune of chauffeuring them. If he didn't love his little brother enough to endure him and his rat bastard of a boyfriend... then again... on some level suppose he did appreciate Copia. The stupid rat at least had an ass and gave good head.

Yeah.

Great.

He wasn't just “dating” his stupid brother... Copia somehow fell into the mix.

The oldest Emeritus fought the urge to step on the gas pedal and get home as fast as he could. Sure, it would save him from the awful singing but would risk fucking up his car. So he endured for a couple minutes before grabbing III by his lapel and shutting him up with a rough kiss. His little brother responded with a delighted moan before melting into his seat happily. Copia looked on suddenly quiet.

"How... how about me?" The cardinal asked.

"Dream on, rat." II muttered before turning off the radio and driving them home in quiet.

Until they passed by a 24h working McDonalds. Yes... II unknowingly unleashed hell as the two shot up in spot and started chanting the name of the fast food franchise.

II dropped his head. Before ignoring his better judgment and stepping on the speed.

Once they got home, he got out the car and watched the two drunken idiots stumble out and to each other to begin incoherently mumbling at each other complaints about how much they wanted a McFlurry and what not. The oldest Emeritus rolled his eyes behind his shades. Before locking the door and ushering his baby brother under his arm. This is how he chose to lead him towards the house. Copia grumbled. And it froze the elder to turn at him.

"Fine, come here." He grumbles but more pissed off. The cardinal grinned and jumped at clinging to the second Emeritus' sleeve.

So all the three of them walked into the mansion like that and straight to II's room. Where he ordered the two to take off their shoes and go the hell to sleep. Right before taking a breath and reminding Copia to clean off his fucking make up.

Arms crossed, he watched the two settle into the bed. III spreading all over the king-sized mattress meanwhile Copia crawled into a tiny ball at the side of it. Seeing them ready and in bed, II nodded before returning to his suites living room area and sitting back down in his armchair. He pressed the play button to his TV and continuing where he left off on his movie. Soon the sound of Monty Python filled the room.

Yeah, sure, it might be lame. But at the very least it occupied some time for him. It never did crack a smile on his face, but... he didn‘t mind much.

* * *

 

II awoke due to an itch on his nose, his eyes shot wide open and sure enough, his dumbass brother nuzzled up to him, laying his head into the crook of his shoulder, messy hair sprawled onto the eldest face. Without much thought, II slicked back the hair with his hand before looking around and realizing Copia suddenly wasn‘t on the bed. Gingerly, the once Papa removed his sibling from his hold and sat up in bed. With a quick glance, he realized that Copia was now instead sleeping on the floor.

II narrowed his eyes. How the fuck did this keep happening? The bed was giant but the cardinal kept falling out of it.

Turning back his sight onto the other Emeritus, he saw his little bro stretching and yawning, before an attempt to open his eyes ended instantly with a cuss and covering of his face.

“Why the fuck is it so bright here?” III complained, seconds between grabbing the pillow and engulfing his face in it. II shook his head and got out of bed, stepping over the current front man’s body. The oldest of the group headed straight to the bathroom where he took it upon himself to have that nice hot shower that his body ached for after another night of having to deal with those two idiots.

But surely, it wouldn’t just end there. By the time II emerged from the bathroom in fresh clothes, he saw Copia and his baby brother sitting by the TV as the same familiar tune from yesterday fills the air. Emeritus strode over to their direction, rightfully pissed off.

“What are you doing?” The question is stern.

“We’re bored.”

“Can we get some food? We’re hungry.”

“Our heads hurt, too!”

“I am not your fucking nanny,” II stopped them there, before sitting down in his armchair. He pinched the bridge of his nose then, seconds later sliding on his shades and looking the two over again.

Yeah… This was just Lucifer’s gift. Suppose at least the sex was never boring.


End file.
